Points to Ponder
Mindless Chatter July 14th, 2007
Just so you don’t get bored these are for you to ponder….
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there
is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you
throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?
What is the speed of darkness?
Are there specially reserved parking spaces for “normal” people at the
Special Olympics?
If you send someone ‘Styrofoam’, how do you pack it?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as
cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
If it’s true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it
a hostage situation?
Do you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would
be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up
like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then buy binoculars to
look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see
you naked anyway
About
hahahahhahahha very nice indeed!
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are dead?
– draining the juice out of the batteries
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
– checking if it dried since someone last touched it
Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
– Gillette has a very good distribution system.
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
– revolver is bigger than the bullet. so stupid you know
What is the speed of darkness?
– 3*10^8 m/s
If you send someone ‘Styrofoam’, how do you pack it?
– wrapping paper
If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
– 00 degree centigrade
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
– some apes were just smarter
If it’s true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?
– busy starring with nicole kidman in her movie.
If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?
– attempt to murder. the person should be put on trial immediately. the same actually
Do you cry under water?
– did you even watch the little mermaid?
I have one. Why do people push button in the lift 10 times or more hoping that the door will close 10 time faster.. when in reality it will close at the first press.
Why does the “que” in shopping mall seems longer, yet the que in traffic doesn’t.